Just Another Guy
by pinkperson
Summary: Raine thinks about Laguna and how much she resents him seven months after his departure.


Raine stared at the photo, her lower lip wobbling with emotion. It was a photo taken of her and Laguna in her pub a few months before he'd left Winhill. She was sitting in her room at a desk, feeling lonely as she often did nowadays. She had felt lonely as soon as Laguna had driven off that dreary day. It was as though he'd taken the sunshine and any vitality Raine may have had along with him. And to top it off, he'd left her pregnant.

It was just like him to break her heart like he had, too. She'd not even bothered to try to stop him from leaving. What good would it do anyway? He was so irresponsible, so childish, and just plain stupid. She knew there was nothing she could say or do that would get through his thick skull. Sometimes she felt the urge to just break down crying just because of how much she loved him in spite of that. He'd broken down the barriers she'd protected herself with, charming her with his innocence and unrelenting optimism. Though she tried to hide it, she was awed by how hard it was to dislike him, as annoying as he could be. There was no way she couldn't fall in love with him and his goofy personality. She wasn't one to laugh often, yet he'd tickle her into exhaustion. And she hated being tickled, but for Laguna she'd made an exception. She knew how much he liked making her laugh.

And now all she ever did was cry.

Hot tears dripped down Raine's face as she wondered if he would ever return. It had been seven months. Seven long, dreadful months of pure mental anguish. As the baby inside of her grew, her feelings of resentment grew along with it. At times she would burst into tears out of nowhere, unable to deal with her loneliness and worries about raising another child by herself. A part of her hated Laguna and if he had heard the way that she'd curse at him, he'd probably hate himself, too. He'd probably apologize excessively as he had a tendency to do. And she almost rolled her eyes at the thought of it.

Sometimes she'd tell herself that she wished she'd never even met him, but she knew that was a lie. And she hated that it was a lie, too. It probably wouldn't even matter what he'd done to her. She'd forgive him for it. It was so hard not to. Especially when he'd look at her with his puppy dog eyes that would make her walled up heart crack in half.

Tears fell onto Raine's jeans as her shoulders shook with her grief. She knew he wasn't going to come back. She just _knew_. It had been too long and he would have contacted her by now if he had any interest in returning at all. She knew Laguna well, so something must have come up, distracting him entirely.

She still couldn't believe what bad luck she had to have to have not chosen to use protection that night. What was she thinking? But that was the thing, wasn't it? She _wasn't_ thinking. When she was around him she had a tendency to not think...not like she normally did anyway. The butterflies in her stomach would often coax her into insanity. Because that's what it felt like to be in love with someone like Laguna.

Pure insanity.

And yet he was such a good person that it seemed like she had to be the one in the wrong to hate him in the least. It was bizarre that the guy wielded a massive machine gun when anyone who knew him felt that he wouldn't dare to hurt a fly. He was just a walking contradiction.

Raine wiped at her face, trying to get a hold of herself. She shouldn't cry too much anyway. Maybe putting herself through stress would affect the baby. It was hard not to think about her needs, though. She felt like she needed emotional support and Ellone wasn't exactly capable in that department.

Raine put the picture away as she let out a sigh. She couldn't keep doing this to herself. It wasn't the end of the world even if he didn't come back. She was a strong person. She'd been independent before Laguna had tumbled into her life. She could be independent again. Besides, didn't people say that lovers come and go? He was replaceable wasn't he? He was just another guy, right? Just another stupid guy. Just another…

_I need to stop thinking before I go crazy…_

And so Raine walked over to her bed and laid down on it. She tried to think about what she'd make for dinner that night. She tried to think about what story she'd read to Ellone after she put her into bed. She even tried thinking about possibly going for a drive to get her head together.

But all she saw in the back of her mind was Laguna smiling sadly at her, sympathetic as always.


End file.
